Today is the last day in the month of August. Tomorrow, it’s September and my most hated months of the year. Why? Everything that happened in September 2013, makes me wish that this month has one day and then it is over.
Over the past weeks there have been a couple of long nights with no sleep or very little sleep. The closer D-day we coming the worse it seems to become. Last year we were thankfully busy making sure that our house would be ready for us to move in again. This year it’s just our everyday life rolling on. And thoughts.
Now some of you is wondering what happened in September 2013. I wrote a guest blog post on David’s blog a few days after D-Day. It tells a little bit of what happened those days in September. (Click here if you want to read David’s blog, Ungmorfar.)
Today it is not David who writes instead it is his wife, Maria. Since David’s last post, a lot has happened and I will do my best to tell you. Unfortunately I do not have the same talent as David to write, but will do my best.
Sunday, September 8th we all wake to a regular quiet Sunday. David was a little hangover after his usual pool comp Saturday night, with an honorable second place against Pom. Amanda and David had entered a pact to start walking again and they decided to take a walk before Jacks nap. Even Alicia followed. I fixed for the coming school week and Andrea were preparing to go to work.
After the walk David lay down and watch TV and just dull. Jack wakes up and Amanda takes Jack and Alicia on a trip to the beach. After a while, tired of watching TV David goes up and lays down in the bed with some music and a bit of card game on the phone. I get up and lay me down next to him, and we talk a little about everything. In the middle of a sentence David becomes completely numb. Afterwards, I know he went into cardiac arrest. But there was total chaos. Managed to call for Amanda, Roh and Brett. Upcoming hour and a half, was the worst hours of my life. David will never be at my side again. He will never make us laugh. There and then changed my and our children’s lives forever. Thankfully Mr. Stefan came that evening.
We took David to the temple on Monday. We had time to talk to him, say goodbye and make sure he came to rest.
Wednesday, 11 September, David was cremated in the temple with good friends around him. Later in the day we brought home David. He is now at home with us and we have been waiting for friends and family to have the time to come before we put David to his final rest in the sea on Wednesday.
My mother, David’s favorite mother-in-law, landed already on the 12th, on Tuesday Uncle Sam landed, Friday morning my dad and Monika came, last Saturday we picked up David’s dad with dog, yesterday came David’s older brother Robert and good friend Björn, today we are waiting for David’s younger sister with her husband and children, and on Wednesday there will be another good friend, Mr. Perre and Miss Isabelle coming.
I want to thank all of you who read David’s blog. You made him happy every time you read.
Thanks to all the wonderful friends we have around us from far and wide! Your warm greetings is warming to get, and to know that I am not alone.
I can never by any words, thank those who have been by our side since the first moment. Want anyway send them thank you for being there, Stefan, Brett, Francesco, Jenny, Valentina, Party, Alek, Nick, Lina, James Roh and Bang Dedt !!!
Never forget to tell those close to you that you love them, you may never get the chance to say it again!
❤️ Love you Amanda, Andrea, Alicia and Jack! ❤️
Hugs to you all! // Maria
My husband passed away in my arms. My children saw their father lifeless. How do you remove that image from the retina? Doesn’t work. It sits there forever. Maybe it will be weaker, but it will never disappear. The days in the temple we had the opportunity to “talk” with David. Mentally talk. It was something we all felt was right in a strange way. We had time to say goodbye and say everything we wanted to say. After that David came “home” to us. Also a strange feeling. But we could not do more, we needed to wait for our families and friends, from the other side of the earth to come. We waited for everyone who wanted to come to us and we had a nice ceremony on the beach along with a monk. Drove out with a jetski on the most craziest waves ever existed. Said a last goodbye before David came to his final rest in the ocean. Now everyone who wants to say hello to David, get out to the coast and dip your toes in the ocean and say “Hello”.
All this took place during the same month, extended over the entire month. David’s birthday is in September to, with more memories that will run through us.
Can’t say that I want to remember those days, I don’t want to be reminded of those days, just want to live today. Doing everything I can to have a “normal” day, but all the terrible memories that rushes through the whole body, makes it pretty hard. Just want a day with lovely memories of the wonderful husband David was.
With this post, I just want to say that September is a month with a thousand memories, memories that I do not want to remember. I miss David every day. Every day I open my eyes I miss him. But I live, David’s daughters lives, David’s grandchild lives. We must continue to live. If I seems cold and not show my regret at those terrible days in this month, it’s not that I do not miss David. It is because I do not want remember all the terrible things that happened. I want to live with all the lovely, crazy moments we had together. I want to wake up and feel that it is a good day, a good day to take new steps toward an uncertain future, but without my David.
As I so often emphasized in the past for everyone who read, do not forget to tell your loved ones you love them. You never know where tomorrow wears off and it may be too late.
Amanda, Andrea, Alicia, Jack, mom, dad, Monica and Mike, love you all to the bits and are so glad you are mine! Live life, my friends!
To all of you who really likes to know everything and listening to all the talk, I would just say; I live, and live under the circumstances a good life. I stand on my two feet every day and do the things I want to do. Do you want to something about us? Come and ask!